Battle in Britain!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 10 up! Complete! The Misfits, alongside Wildstar, hit England to investigate rumors of Cobra activity! RR PLEASE! Suggestions needed badly!
1. New Mission!

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Goofn1: Well, look what's happened to Lance recently in Red Witch's stories. He was forced to reveal a dark past to Kitty, and it ended up broadcast to all the X-Men by Iceman. Fate screwed him out of a potential new girlfriend as well. I figured he could use a break. And what better break for him than to win a million bucks! Yeah, Fox is slow on the uptake. Meanwhile, enjoy the new story!  
  
To Wizard1: Yep, Fighting and Duncan torture! Nothing better! And I have seen pictures of Catherine Zeta-Jones. I envy Michael Douglas. Will Super Deputy make another appearance? Who knows. BTW, where have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while! I missed ya, man! And where's Chapter Three of Karaoke Dance Party?!?!?!?! I NEED THAT CHAPTER!!!!!!  
  
To Red Witch: Glad you liked Kitty strangling Foxfire and Lance's victory speech. I'm glad you liked the story! I love the new chapters of IHNP, and I wonder who the two new mutants you introduce are. And I hope you like this new story! It's crazy!  
  
To Raliena: I'm glad you liked my version of Rictor! And I hope you enjoy this new story I whipped up just for you and all my other fans!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: I was glad to use your suggestions! I did the ending as a tribute to "Cannonball Run II" with the King getting kissed by BR. I love driving Scott crazy! He probably has said hello to the Men in White on more than one occasion. Evo Sauron? The Games-Master? I think Marvel had a villain called the Games-Master. He was an omnipath, a telepath that could read the minds of anyone on Earth. Mr. Sinister and a WC Misfit/Sinister Seven brawl? Well, I'll see what I can do. Enjoy this new story!  
  
To RogueFanKC: WHERE ARE YOU?!?! I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN FOREVER!!!!! PUT ME IN YOUR AUTHOR ALERT LIST!!!! I GOT A NEW STORY HERE FOR YOU!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Marvel and Sunbow except those created by me and other authors for me, too many to remember, thank you all! Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 1: New Mission!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(The Pit)  
  
"Man, I love having money!" Lance grinned as he lounged in the Misfit Clubhouse. The other Misfits were resting and relaxing.  
  
"Too bad you had to give half to Rictor." Todd reminded jokingly. He sat next to Lance on the couch, Al massaging his shoulders.  
  
"Remember Toddles, I want my shoulders rubbed too." Al reminded.  
  
"Sure, babe." Todd waved.  
  
"Well, he did earn it." Lance shrugged.  
  
"And the rest is for college, according to Barbecue." John sighed. He was working on a sequel to his novel on a laptop, a flame red laptop with yellow flame highlights and orange keys Trinity made for him for Christmas. "Too bad you won't get to spend it." Sam barged in.  
  
"Hey, if Lila comes in, tell her I'm not here, and I never was here!" Sam hid in a closet. Lila had taken Sam to the Pit, but she secretly hoped to get him in the Laundry Room.  
  
"Man, Lila really must be out Cannonball-hunting." Wanda chuckled as she pocketed the eight ball. "Well Craig, you owe me another ten bucks. Next time, I'm making you take me out to the ice cream parlor again."  
  
"Ha ha." Craig sneered. {I can't seem to get one over her!} Lila burst in the clubhouse.  
  
"Sammy?! Where are you, you Brad Pitt clone?" Lila cooed, checking around.  
  
"Whoa!" She nearly knocked Jake over, who was watching the 1992 Royal Rumble on television. "Whoo, go Flair!"  
  
"You know every WWE Pay-Per-View by heart Jake, you know who won this." Lila groaned.  
  
"Hey!" Blob squeaked as Lila nearly knocked over his sandwich by accident.  
  
"Yipe!" Ace Starr's sandwich nearly suffered the same fate.  
  
"Dude, careful!" Paul warned as Lila nearly knocked the controller off the game console he was using. "Man, I need wireless!" Cannonball slowly peeked out the closet, and crept away.  
  
"SAMMYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sam winced as he heard Lila squeal.  
  
"Yipe! YEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sam streaked away, Lila chasing him. Bree walked in.  
  
"Hey guys!" She smiled.  
  
"Hi Bree!" The Misfits waved cheerfully.  
  
"Hey Ace, it's nice to see you." Bree smiled.  
  
"Yeah, well........." Ace shrugged. "It's a slow week in Malibu for heroes, so I decided to pay my favorite cousins a visit."  
  
"Well, I got a letter from my aunt Elisabeth Braddock I in England." Bree held up a letter.  
  
"Aunt?" Ace wondered.  
  
"Yup." Bree nodded with a smile. "Her daughter, also named Elisabeth, has just gained mutant powers."  
  
"I guess Liz has finally revealed herself." Al sighed. The other Misfits looked at her. "Well, Elisabeth and I are old friends, and we do keep in contact. She knows all about you guys."  
  
"And let me guess, she has a crush on Starchild." Craig grumbled.  
  
"No." Al replied.  
  
"Thank God." Craig sighed.  
  
"She has gotten a thing for Pietro." She snickered. Lance's eyes widened.  
  
"But Pietro's the ambiguous whiny egomaniac!"  
  
"HEY!!!" Pietro snapped. "What's she look like?" Al handed Pietro a picture. His eyes glazed. "What a hottieeeeeeeeeee........."  
  
"Uh-oh. Pietro's in love." Wanda groaned. "Somebody call the National Guard."  
  
"Actually, um........." Bree fidgeted. "Xavier already recruited her."  
  
"AW NUTS!!!" Most of the Misfits cried.  
  
"What kind of powers did she have?" Wanda wondered.  
  
"Telepathy and limited precognition." Bree explained.  
  
"Man, this team needs a telepath!" Lance grumbled.  
  
"We have three." Paul reminded. "Trinity."  
  
"I meant a normal telepath, Starchild." Lance replied.  
  
"Well, You kids still have to go to Great Britain." Bree sighed. "Rumor has it that there's possible Cobra activity over there."  
  
"Why can't the West Coast guys deal with it?" Fred wondered.  
  
"Union break." Ace quipped. "Theresa and Rahne went home to Ireland to visit their parents, Sunfire's back in Japan, Thunderbird had to drop off James, and hear the mother of all loud reprimands from his father at home, X23's asleep, Rictor is busy, Dazzler is getting ready for a performance, Terrell is busting up gangs back in Compton, and Kyle's in Boston beating up jabronis."  
  
"So we'll have to do it. Okay. I can catch up with Elisabeth later." Althea shrugged.  
  
"Sweet! Since we're going to England, I can finally introduce you guys to my famous uncle! Well, he's Paul and Craig's uncle too, but he's real well- known in Britain!" Ace grinned.  
  
Well, the Misfits have got a new mission? What is Cobra up to in England? Who is Ace, Paul, and Craig's uncle? Who's Elisabeth? How does Althea know her? Find out in the next exciting chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	2. On the Way!

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, I had to mention Psylocke. It was about time I took up on your offer. Yes, this story will have the Misfits meeting Ace, Paul, and Craig's uncle. You want to see a sissy fight, huh? Well, I don't think it'll be as good as Red Witch's between the Leader and Cobra Commander, but I'll see what I can do. PLEASE PUT UP CHAPTER THREE!!!! IT'S BEEN SO LOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
To Red Witch: Yes, It will be good. Let's just say Great Britain will never be the same. BTW, I noticed something weird. In the GI Joe cartoon, I though Destro was African-American because of his voice, but according to a GI Joe comic website I visited, Destro is a Scotsman. That's weird. You created a character with a silkworm mutation. Love the new chapters and Evo- tizing of Firestar in INHP. BTW, ever thought of using the Starr Family and any of my characters and ideas in your stories?  
  
To Aaron: The Misfits are crossing the pond, yes they are! Will they meet Brian, Jamie, Meggan, Banshee, and Moira? I don't plan to, but you never know. Yeah, Meggan can draw energy from the Earth and fire it in the form of concussion blasts. Here's some more madness for you! Enjoy!  
  
To Raliena: I'm glad you liked my surprise! Will we see some explosions? Most likely! With the Misfits around, it's a practical guarantee.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: I do like British comedy. My favorite character in "Are You Being Served?" was Ms. Slocombe. She never had the same hair color twice! I have seen the GI Joe episode with the Games-Master. Maybe I could do an amalgam of the Joe and Marvel Games-Master. And yes, the Psylocke I'm bringing in is based on Wizard1's version, with a slight alteration to her looks, but that's all I'll say.  
  
Special Disclaimer: I do not own any of the movie characters here.  
  
Chapter 2: On the Way!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(On the way to England)  
  
"I'm always workin', slavin', every day/Gotta get a break from the same old same old........." Ace sang along to a Poison song from his CD player.  
  
"Please shut up, Ace." Craig grumbled.  
  
"You are no fun." The lion-like Ace grinned.  
  
"I wonder what Cobra would be up to in England." Wanda scratched her head. In his seat, Lance was slumped over asleep. He had a sedative before the flight to prevent him from screaming about crashing and creatures on the wing.  
  
"Wow, this is the quietest I've ever heard Lance yo." Todd whistled.  
  
"Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep........." Lance sleep-chanted. Lila sighed.  
  
"I wish I could've taken my Sam with me." She sighed.  
  
"He said to take care of something with the X-Men." John grinned. She knew Sam was really trying to get his human rocket rear away from Lila. "I want to see where the Great Fire of London started up."  
  
"You would." Todd groaned.  
  
"My dad's been to England." Jake grinned. "For WWE Rebellion and Insurrection. They're UK-exclusive Pay-Per-Views held annually. He's sent lots of postcards. Not to mention a really funny tape of Evolution getting drunk in London. Man, Randy Orton really embarrassed himself on that tape. Ric was able to hold that liquor well, though." Meanwhile, Ace and Althea were talking.  
  
"Sharon told me that Frost tried to recruit Betsy." Ace said.  
  
"Yeah." Al nodded. "Chromedome and Storm sent her packing." Jake could not help but overhear.  
  
"They were too easy on her." Jake growled. Ace and Althea looked at him. "I would've planted her into the floor headfirst." His blue eyes started glowing.  
  
"Man, I guess chokeslamming Emma Frost into the ground in front of the Avengers Mansion was not satisfying enough for you." Althea whistled.  
  
"That wench screwed with me." Jake reminded. "I'm a proud member of the Wildfire wrestling dynasty. Emma Frost had better pray she had better not have to try and recruit anyone at a WWE event. I also hope she doesn't run into anyone in my family again. The next time I see her, she'll beg me to kill her."  
  
"Man, remind me to never tick you off, Jake." Ace chuckled. Jake smirked.  
  
"Hey dudes!" Paul leaned over, holding a couple London brochures. "What do you think we should see first? The Picadilly Circus? Big Ben? London Bridge? The Tower of London? How about the famous Underground?"  
  
"Maybe after the mission, the Joes'll let us sightsee." Al smiled, pointing at a snoozing Bulldog, Cover Girl, Shipwreck, and Low Light.  
  
"Did Trinity really have to put knockout pills in their drinks?" Craig grumbled.  
  
"Well, they should've checked the drinks before they decided to drink 'em!" Pietro grinned.  
  
"Why do I think you had something to do with it?" Wanda glared at her twin brother.  
  
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!" Pietro cowered. Craig snickered. "Shut it Darkstar!"  
  
"Make me." Craig glared.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(A top secret warehouse, London, England)  
  
"Man, why do we bloody have to guard this van?!" An English Special Forces Officer grumbled to his partner. The two men were guarding what appeared to be a lime green van. "I don't see what's so bloody special about it."  
  
"They said this van's the ultimate military vehicle." The second guard shrugged.  
  
"Well, I think it's crock!" Guard #1 grumbled.  
  
"Well, we'll relieve you of your troubles." A couple Cobra Vipers appeared, toting a couple machine guns.  
  
"Hold it right there!" A couple men in black-and-silver suits with black hard hats also toting machine guns appeared, pointing their guns at the Vipers and the English guards.  
  
"Oh man!" Viper #1 grumbled. "Who are you?"  
  
"Agents of Dr. Evil." The black-suited men responded. "Dr. Evil requests this van."  
  
"This van is property of Cobra!" The Vipers snapped.  
  
"Not anymore!" The black-suited men snapped back. The English guards watched.  
  
"Popcorn?" Guard #2 held out a bag of popcorn to Guard #1.  
  
"Sweet! Don't mind if I do!" Guard #1 grinned. The two English soldiers were watching Dr. Evil and Cobra's guards slug I out. "We'll arrest 'em after they're done."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Dr. Evil's lair)  
  
The evil bald doctor in gray was watching the sky from a window.  
  
"Once I get my hands on the new Rolls-Royce Assault Van, I will be able to rule the world!" The doctor put his pinky to his lip. "Only one man can stop me now. Austin Powers. But I shall defeat him."  
  
"He does have three mutant nephews, you dolt!" The voice of Scott Evil snapped. "Knowing Powers, he'll have the Misfits with him!" Dr. Evil stared obliviously at his son. The bald mad doctor never heard of the mighty mutant team, much less Austin had family. (A/N: Post-Spy who Shagged Me, pre-Goldmember. At this point, Dr. Evil actually has no idea he's Austin Powers' brother)  
  
Well, things are going off to a wild start! Can the Misfits handle Dr. Evil and Cobra? What madness will happen next? What'll happen when Ace introduces Paul and Craig to their long-lost Uncle Austin? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	3. Mutants of London!

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Wizard1:Yeah, what took so long with Lance? Oh, We'll see if Cobra Commander and Doctor Evil start fighting like schoolgirls. Poor Dr. Evil, he's so out of touch. Who'll show up? Well, we'll see. Will we see Fat Bastard vs. Fred? Well, that would be a REAL Clash of the Titans! Find out!  
  
To Red Witch: Will there be a slap fight between Cobra Commander and Dr. Evil? Who knows. I'd really like to see your takes on the Starr Family, Virus, the West Coast Misfits, and all the other craziness that goes on in my Misfit-verse. I'm glad you'll give Paul and Craig in your parodies. I also liked Mr. Murphy. Reminded me of Pietro. Oh, and BTW, I figured out Lina's mutation! Her mutation is insect-based, right? She'll have insect- like characteristics, like the Ultimate Universe version of the Wasp. In the ultimate Universe, the Wasp is a mutant.  
  
To Jckidsmart: Kelly and Duncan torture in England? Well, I can see what I can do for you. I do remember that rocket joke. I don't know if I can do it in this story, though.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Yeah, I can imagine Austin Powers coming on to the female Joes. But knowing his charms, they'd love it! Hmmm, Misfits stopping by at Grace Bros. Who was the junior assistant of Ms. Slocombe, the pretty blonde. I can't remember her name. I want to be sure I have all the characters.  
  
Chapter 3: Mutants of London!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(London, England)  
  
"Wow!" Wanda looked around at the old buildings that comprised London. "It's amazing. Many of these buildings are even older than the ones back home."  
  
"Would it be considered an international incident if an Australian hanging with a bunch of Americans started the Second Great Fire of London?" John grinned.  
  
"Don't you get any bright ideas." Lance warned. Jake noticed a long black car in front of a train station, and a certain blonde telepath emerging from it. The sneering wrestler slipped away, but not before grabbing a crowbar from a nearby construction site.  
  
"Well we should check out Picadilly Circus. I think it's an old Roman town square." Cover Girl nodded.  
  
"Too bad Sis is out on a mission." Bulldog grinned. "She'd love to be back home. This place beings back a lot of memories."  
  
"Maybe we'll see Big Ben again." Shipwreck laughed.  
  
"Who?" Bulldog wondered.  
  
"You and Lionheart weren't the first English Joes." Low Light nodded. "We had a member codenamed Big Ben for a while. Came from the SAS."  
  
"Oh, was his real name David J. Bennett?" Bulldog's eyes widened.  
  
"Yes. Staff Sergeant David Bennett." Shipwreck nodded.  
  
"He was the one who recommended me and my sister be sent to GI Joe in the first place!" Bulldog laughed. "What a bloody small world! He was my best friend! I had no idea he was a Joe himself! That man has a lot of stories to tell me and a lot of explaining to do."  
  
"Well, Big Ben always enjoyed gambling with Ace." Cover Girl grinned.  
  
"Oh, this I gotta hear!" Bulldog laughed. The gang heard a horrified scream and a rage-filled roar.  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" The diamond-skinned Emma Frost flew through a wall of the train station headfirst like she was thrown by something powerful. And the thrower was a blood-seeking Jake Wildfire in his dragon form. A crowbar was wrapped around his fist.  
  
"YOU CROSSED THE WRONG MUTANT, FROST!!!!!" Jake roared, spitting an inferno in the telepath's face. The Hellions' instructor covered herself, and felt the flames. She suffered no real additional injury, but the layer of diamond over her body was charred. She fell on her knees with a grunt. Jake approached her slowly and cocked back his crowbar-wearing fist. "Now, you'll get yours!" Jake had to hold her by the neck as she slumped out of consciousness. He was about to throw the punch when he fell to the ground with a moan. Althea had nailed him with a knockout dart.  
  
"Bloody Yanks. Always fighting everywhere, with superpowers, without superpowers, they think the whole world's their bloody boxing ring." The English crowd grumbled things along the lines of that as it dispersed. The Joes picked up Red Dragon, who was changing back to human form.  
  
"I'll kill her...I'll kill her...Make her pay..." Jake murmured.  
  
"She'll get hers, Jake. Be sure of that." Low Light said under his breath as he looked at the recovering Emma Frost.  
  
"You should keep that monster on a leash!" She hollered angrily.  
  
"Ah shaddap!" Shipwreck snapped. "Personally, I would've let him finish." He added under his breath.  
  
"I seriously need to talk to Jake after he wakes up." Althea sighed.  
  
"Hey, maybe we should go see my uncle now." Ace said in an attempt to ease the mood.  
  
"Where is he?" Wanda asked.  
  
"Well at this time, knowing him, he's over at his pad. C'mon. I'll take you all." Ace smiled.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(A 1960s-themed luxury apartment, London)  
  
"Welcome to my uncle's pad." Ace grinned. It was like the set of a 1960s edition of American Bandstand. People, clad in their best 60s wares, were having fun and dancing to the sounds of Strawberry Alarm Clock's "Incense and Peppermints". There were even cages with bikini-clad, painted go-go dancers. "Hey! Uncle Austin! UNCLE AUSTIN!!"  
  
"Groovy party, baby!" An Englishman grinned. He had black glasses, and brown hair. He was clad in a blue and light-blue pinstripe jacket and pants with an orange frilly shirt underneath. Around his neck was a gold medallion of the symbol for male. His teeth were white, but they were artificially whitened. He looked over the party like an emperor over his subjects. They cheered at the sight of the man.  
  
"UNCLE AUSTIN!!!!!" Ace's voice called. The man turned his head.  
  
"My nephew Ace! Groovy!" Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, ran down the steps and ran to his nephew, enveloping him in a big hug. "My God, Ace! I haven't seen you since you were twelve!"  
  
"Yeah. Everyone, this is my uncle. Technically, he's my grand-uncle, considering he was frozen for several decades. Austin Powers, England's best secret agent. The International Man of Mystery. Women want him, and men want to be him. He was one of my idols as a kid." Ace grinned, introducing the agent.  
  
"Hello." He said. His accent was similar to legendary actor Michael Caine. The gang noticed that Austin Powers bore a sight resemblance to comedian Mike Myers. "Nice to meet you all."  
  
"This is Althea Delgado, her father Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Bulldog, Low Light, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Lance Alvers, Todd Tolensky, Fred Dukes, St. John Allerdyce, Xi, Jake Wildfire, and Lila Cheney." Ace introduced. "And these are Paul and Craig Starr, my cousins. You have more nephews, Uncle Austin." Austin laughed.  
  
"Bloody incredible." Austin chuckled.  
  
"I'm related to this clown?" Craig asked in disbelief. "Oh my God, I hate my family." Austin held Cover Girl's hand.  
  
"Courtney Krieger, right?" He grinned. She blushed.  
  
"Now he'd know her real name?" Shipwreck scratched his head.  
  
"Uncle Austin got into an accident as a kid, and he gained feminine telepathy." Ace replied.  
  
"Huh?" Pietro wondered.  
  
"He can read women's minds." Fred translated.  
  
"That would explain how he's able to charm women so well." Pietro raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, he doesn't actively enter a woman's mind. He can, but he normally doesn't. His brain works more like an antenna." Ace explained. "It's like an antenna receiving radio signals. Well, Uncle Austin's brain is an antenna for women's thoughts."  
  
"Why can he only read the minds of women?" Wanda asked.  
  
"Well, it has been proven that women's and men's minds work differently. Maybe it's those differences. What exactly happened?" Fred asked.  
  
"Got struck by lightning." Ace shrugged.  
  
Well, Austin Powers has a special talent! What madness will happen next? What was up with that van in the last chapter? What is Cobra up to? What is Dr. Evil up to? Will the Misfits and Austin be able to save the day? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	4. Mission Revealed!

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: Yeah. Poor, poor Craig never catches a break. How are Paul, Craig, and Ace related to Austin Powers? Well, we'll find out!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, a bit of a coincidence formed on my part. I like Mel Gibson, although I never saw "What Women Want". I saw all three Austin Powers movies and I thought Austin would exhibit some kind of odd power over women. I don't think Jake really cares where Emma is, what she does, or the circumstances of their meeting. Anytime, anywhere, Jake will attack Emma Frost. I think the kids would be doing a lot of puking at the sight of Austin's teeth before the picture. I do like your idea, though. I think Wanda might enjoy it very much! BTW, WHERE'S CHAPTER THREE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! PIT IT UP NOW PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE  
  


* * *

  
To JCKIDSMART: Hope this Kelly Torture helps brighten your day!  
  
To Red Witch: And it only gets wilder! What will I do next? Find out! Oh yeah, I read the new chapters of IHNP. Love 'em! I see you Evo-tized John Proudstar too! I BEAT YOU! I BEAT YOU TO THE PUNCH!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Thanks! Now I have the whole gang! Maybe I will have our heroes visit Grace Bros. I can certainly imagine Mr. Humphries being related to Donald. Maybe I will do that! Thanks! Y'know, I remembered the theme for "Are You Being Served". I think it's the very first hip-hop song!  
  
To Aaron: I thought the ability to read women's minds would be appropriate for Austin Powers. Yeah, and something tells me Emma will end up regretting ever trying to screw around with Jake Wildfire. Let's just say you mess with one Wildfire, you mess with their whole family, and Jake Wildfire has quite a family...  
  
Welcome to a new feature of L1701E's stories, Profile Time! Where I give you information on a character in my Misfit-verse. Let's take a look at Virus in our premiere:  
  
Virus Allegiance: Dreadnok Real Name: Vincent James Nationality: British Birthplace: London, England Hair: Brown Eyes: Brown Powers: Virus can possess and take control of any electronic device, much like a ghost possessing a person. He also has an intuitive genius for inventing. He has a genius-level IQ, but his mental health is usually in question.  
  
Personality: It is possible Virus suffers from paranoia and possibly he suffers from severe mental illness. No one knows for sure, because no one's ever been able to get him in the psychiatrist's office. He is an arrogant, yet cowardly Dreadnok. Virus often prefers to fight with his many devices and machines rather than use physical means. He is obsessed with East Coast Misfits leader Althea Delgado, aka Wavedancer. He believes her boyfriend Todd is a demon mentally controlling her, and that she truly loves him. As a result, Virus often tries to destroy Toad more than any other Misfit, even though he hates them all. Extremely proud of his creations, Virus has been known to go into fits of rage whenever GI Joe or the Misfits destroy his inventions.  
  
Strengths: His brains and knack for devices makes him a dangerous foe. He often carries various devices on his person and only he knows what he carries on him. Even when he sleeps, he always has some kind of hidden trick on him.  
  
Weaknesses: Often in battle, Virus will only focus on Toad if he's around, ignoring other opponents. This makes him extremely vulnerable to attack. His reluctance to attack Wavedancer has earned him a few beatings. Also, Virus's questionable mental health has often made him unpredictable. His arrogance often puts him at odds with the other Dreadnoks. His cowardly nature often shows when he runs away after one of his machines is destroyed.  
  
Note: A lot about Virus' past is unknown including how he joined the Dreadnoks, his family life, how he first met Wavedancer, and how he developed his madness-inducing crush on her.  
  
That's Virus's profile! Now on to the story!  
  
Chapter 4: Mission Revealed!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  


* * *

  
(Streets of London, England)  
  
"What the heck is everyone's problem in this country?" Senator Kelly grumbled. He had come to England for a vacation. Unfortunately he forgot one of the major rules of traveling in Great Britain: In Great Britain, everyone drove on the left side of the road.  
  
"YOU DUMB YANK!!!"  
  
"HEY STUPID, OTHER BLOODY LANE!!!" Several English drivers screamed and hollered at the hapless American driver.  
  
"YOU MOVE!!! YOU'RE ON THE WRONG LANE!!!! Dumb Brits." Kelly grumbled. "OH MY GOD!!!!" Kelly screamed. He had a head-on with a bus. He ran out and hollered at the bus. "YOU WERE ON THE WRONG MOTHER%$#*&! LANE!!!! WHAT WAS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!" A whole bunch of drunken English soccer hooligans emerged from the bus, all clad in the colors of English soccer team Manchester United.  
  
"Oy!" One hooligan, a bald man with bad teeth, clad in a Manchester United jersey and black shorts, pointed at Kelly's tie. It was blue. "That tie's blue!"  
  
"He's a fan of the Scots!" Another hooligan screamed.  
  
"KILL HIM!!!!" A third yelled. The hooligans jumped the frightened Kelly and started beating him savagely.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!! OH GOD HELP ME!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  


* * *

  
(Austin's Pad)  
  
"You see, technically, I'm Paul, Craig, and Ace's grand-uncle." Austin explained his relation to the Starr Brothers and Cousin. "You see, I have a brother who is Paul, Craig, and Ace's grandfather. I was frozen for thirty years, so I never really had a chance to start my own branch of the family." Austin had brought the Misfits and Joes to his office. With him was two pretty girls in golden 60s-esque outfits. The agent turned to them.  
  
"Angie, Jane, be a couple dears and get some sodas for everyone?"  
  
"Yes, Mr. Powers." The ladies giggled as they left.  
  
"Well, how do you explain the differences between the last names?" Cover Girl asked.  
  
"Well baby, God you look shagadelic, anyway, My brother Mick Powers must've had a daughter with the maiden name Powers, and married a man named Starr. Anyway, as for Ace, he may have had another daughter who also was with a man named Starr." Austin chuckled.  
  
"My dad's name is Ronnie Starr. He must be your nephew." Ace realized.  
  
"Yes." Austin grinned. "He is. I don't know much about Mick's family. The man was very secretive." Austin sighed. "He never told anybody anything. He liked to not be noticed. He was a bit of an oddball."  
  
"I know the feeling about being the family oddball." Craig grumbled.  
  
"Aw relax, Craig." Paul grinned. "Wanda still loves ya."  
  
"Paul, shut up!" Craig snapped. Austin raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Craig has a bit of a thing for Wanda here." Lance said, pointing at Wanda. Wanda shrugged.  
  
"I can't help it." Wanda shrugged. "I love teasing Craig."  
  
"Whatever happened to the old brooding Wanda I once knew that used to abuse me all the time?" Pietro whined. Wanda punched him. "That's better." He said before he passed out. The Misfits and Joes heard a beeping.  
  
"Oh God, always in the middle of bloody catch-up time." Austin grumbled. He pulled out a remote from the compartment on a couch. He pointed it at a large painting of himself and pressed a button. The painting moved away, revealing a screen. The screen lit up, revealing a man in a suit and short blond hair.  
  
"Hello, Austin." He said in a cultured voice.  
  
"Basil! How lovely." Austin grinned. "By the way, have you met me nephews Paul, Craig, and Ace?" He pointed at the three mutants. Basil smiled.  
  
"Charmed. I see you have the Misfits and the Joes with you. I'm glad you all are here. Look at this." An image of a lime green van appeared on the television. "This is the RAV, the Rolls-Royce Assault Van."  
  
"Looks more like a Dodge Caravan." Pietro quipped. "That color is so tacky."  
  
"For once, I agree." Wanda sighed. "Only one color is good for that vehicle: red."  
  
"Would've looked better in blue with silver-and-black racing stripes." Ace grinned.  
  
"Basic black. Gives a veil of mystery to it." Craig suggested.  
  
"It looks like a regular van, but it's really an advanced battle machine, complete with hidden weapons systems. Its skin is really high-grade titanium, which is able to withstand small-arms fire and even bazooka blasts." Basil explained.  
  
"Poor Bazooka would hate that thing." Bulldog quipped.  
  
"We need you to help us guard this van until we can get it to the Pit." Basil explained. "You'll be working with Staff Sergeant David Bennett on this."  
  
"It'll be nice seeing Big Ben again." Cover Girl smiled.  
  
"And that guy owes me some stories!" Bulldog exclaimed.  
  
Well, the Joes' mission is revealed. Can Austin, the Joes, and the Misfits protect the RAV? What madness will happen next? What is Dr. Evil up to? What is Cobra up to? Find out in the next exciting chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	5. The Best Laid Plans

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Red Witch: Yeah, but I still beat you to the punch when it comes to Evo- tizing Sunfire, Warpath, and Dazzler. *sticks out tongue playfully* Nyeah! Anyway, enjoy this new chapter I cooked up for you!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Hmmm, a crossover with "Keeping Up Appearances". That does sound like an interesting idea. I do like whenever Austin thinks a woman's really a man. BTW, My new edition of Profile Time is for you. Check it and the crazy new chapter out!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, only Kelly would do something that stupid, drive on the right side of the road and call out a bunch of English soccer hooligans. Yep, Big Ben makes an appearance! Maybe he'll rejoin the Joe Team... Anyway, WHERE IS CHAPTER THREE?!?!?!?! PUT IT UP NOW!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: Well, Big Ben is a real Joe. He did make an appearance in the comics. Until I heard of him, I thought my OCs Bulldog and Lionheart were the only English Joes. Thanks to YoJoe.com, I learned they also had a Japanese and Russian Joe as well.  
  
To JCKIDSMART: You're welcome! Enjoy this new chapter!  
  
It's time for Profile Time again! This time, it's a character given to me by Sparky Genocide! Check him out:  
  
Name: Leathersuit  
  
Function: Dreadnok Warrior  
  
Real Name: Steve Garrett  
  
Hair: Black with neon green streaks  
  
Eyes: Yellow  
  
Birthplace: Unknown  
  
Motto: PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Powers: Leathersuit has alligator-based mutation. His skin is covered in green scales, and he has an alligator-like tail and sharp teeth, but he looks human otherwise. He possesses superhuman strength, night vision, and slight resistance to injury. His jaw and teeth are very strong, and Leathersuit has been known to be able to bite his way through chains.  
  
Bio: Leathersuit is the American nephew of Dreadnok poacher Gnawgahyde. A lot of details about his early life are unknown. It is known that Leathersuit did try to train as a wrestler at the Wildfire Wrestling School in Boston alongside a young Jake Wildfire, the future unofficial Misfit known as Red Dragon. His love of brutality towards his weaker opponents caused him to be expelled. Details of his life from then until his appearance with his Australian uncle in the Dreadnoks are unknown.  
  
Personality: Leathersuit has a dream of being a pro wrestler, and he loves fighting and bringing pain. None too bright, Leathersuit enjoys to break objects and bones. He is an expert on wrestling moves and history, though. He has a rather amicable relationship with the other Dreadnoks except Virus. The arrogant Virus thinks of him as a dumb brute only good for verbal ridicule and derision. Zartan thinks of Leathersuit's strength as a great asset, and he has no problem sending him out to beat people up, because he knows Leathersuit enjoys the job, and he'll get it done.  
  
Chapter 5: The Best Laid Plans...  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Dr. Evil's Lair, Meeting Room)  
  
"Gentlemen..." Dr. Evil looked over at his associates: The militant Frau Farbissina, the sycophantic No. 2, the large and rather revolting Scotsman known only as Fat Bastard, the miniature clone called Mini-Me, and his son, Scott Evil. "As you know, the English and American militaries worked together to develop the Rolls-Royce Assault Van. We shall steal it and ransom it for..." He put his pinky to his lip. "ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!" Scott fought with all his might not to laugh out loud.  
  
"Perhaps you should ask for a little more money." No. 2 suggested.  
  
"Ja, Herr Doctor." Frau Farbissina agreed, her voice spiced by a German accent.  
  
"YOU NUMBNUTS!!!" Scott burst out laughing. Dr. Evil looked at his son in a puzzled manner. "To either of them, a million bucks is like nothing!"  
  
"Zip it!" Dr. Evil grumbled.  
  
"Aw Dad, c-"  
  
"Zip it!"  
  
"I'm ser-"  
  
"Zip it and like it!"  
  
"You're so im-"  
  
"When a problem comes along, you must zip it! WHIT-TISH!! Zip it good!"  
  
"You're a jer-"  
  
"Zip it and forget it!" Dr. Evil ended. Scott glared at a grinning Mini-Me. The tiny clone gave Scott a one-finger salute.  
  
"You're dead!" Scott leaped across the table and started brawling with the clone.  
  
"Ah say we eat the babies!" Fat Bastard grinned in his Scottish accent. "I'll make those Misfits GET IN MAH BELLEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!" No. 2 retched.  
  
"Disgusting Scotsman." He grumbled.  
  
"Hey, Ah heard that! You're just jealous because Ah'm dead sexy!" Fat Bastard grinned.  
  
"You're as attractive as a rotting horse carcass!" No. 2 snapped.  
  
"YOU WANT A PIECE OF MEH?!?!?" Fat Bastard roared, jumping to his feet.  
  
"I don't even want to slap you, you fat pig!" No. 2 snapped. Fat Bastard leapt on the evil sidekick and started pummeling him. "AAAAGH!!!! HELP!!!! EWWWWWW!!!! HE'S NOT WEARING ANYTHING UNDER THAT SKIRT!!!"  
  
"IT'S A KILT!!!"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(An undisclosed location)  
  
The Misfits and the Joes looked at the van.  
  
"It looks so drab." Cover Girl shook her head.  
  
"It needs repainting." Ace nodded.  
  
"Perhaps a nice tie-dye." Austin crossed his arms.  
  
"You'll have to run that by me first." A voice with an English accent said. The gang turned around and saw Staff Sergeant David Bennett, the former Joe codenamed Big Ben, standing before them, clad in his old Joe uniform.  
  
"Big Ben!" Cover Girl ran up to Big Ben and gave him a hug.  
  
"Good to see you too, Cover Girl." Big Ben laughed.  
  
"It's been a long time." Shipwreck hugged Big Ben. Low Light smiled and shook Big Ben's hand.  
  
"Too long." Low Light chuckled.  
  
"Too long, indeed." Big Ben nodded back with a smile. Bulldog walked slowly up to Big Ben. "Hello, Bryan. How's the time being a Joe?" With a smile, Bulldog punched Big Ben in the face in a playful manner, careful of his strength.  
  
"You bloody wanker! You never told me you were a Joe! You owe me stories!" Bulldog playfully yelled at his old friend. Big Ben smirked.  
  
"You still have a girly punch." Big Ben smirked. Big Ben knew well that Bulldog possessed great strength thanks to his mutation. He didn't mind. As a Joe, he had seen worse and weirder things than mutants. "Where's Davey Boy?"  
  
"He had to stay home. He got into BA's coffee, then some of Xavier's liquor, then got a little too friendly with Sgt. Snuffles." Bulldog snickered.  
  
"Y'know, ever since I first met you, this is the first time I've seen you without Davey Boy." Bulldog noted.  
  
"Hey Big Ben!" Pietro waved.  
  
"Let me guess. The Misfits." Big Ben grinned. "Let's see if I got you all." He pointed at each of them. "Althea Delgado, aka Wavedancer. I do remember you. You've gained hydrokinetic powers. Lance Alvers, aka Avalanche. Geokinetic capabilities. Fred Dukes, aka Blob. Superhuman strength, invulnerability, and when still, can increase the gravitational force around your body. Pietro Maximoff, aka Quicksilver. Has superhuman speed and superhuman vanity."  
  
"Hey!" Pietro said, making the kids laugh.  
  
"Todd Tolensky, aka Toad. Toad-like mutation allows superior leaping and kicking power, acid and slime spit, night vision, super reflexes and agility. Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch. Your power is the ability to alter probabilities and the ability to beat up your twin brother at any speed."  
  
"Hey, I like this guy already." Wanda grinned.  
  
"Jake Wildfire, aka Red Dragon. An unofficial member of the team, you can spit flames and fly. You can also transform into a dragon that, like the Hulk, gets stronger the more you fight. St. John Allerdyce, aka Pyro. From Australia, you can control flames, but you need an outside flame source. Paul and Craig Starr, aka Starchild and Darkstar. You two can fire lasers from your right eyes, and have hypnotic powers. Xi was created to be the ultimate hunter, with invisibility, and the power to read genetic codes by touch. Lastly, Lila Cheney. You have no codename, but you can teleport large groups of people long distances. However, your powers are useless at short-range."  
  
"Wow." Lance blinked.  
  
"How did he know all that?" Lila scratched her head.  
  
"Lionheart talks. A lot." Big Ben smirked. He held up a pile of letters. "Half of them are just "I love Barbecue" written over and over. Let me guess, she's stalking him?"  
  
"Yeah." Bulldog groaned. "She has a crush."  
  
"Oh God." Big Ben groaned.  
  
"We were thinking of repainting the van." Pietro grinned.  
  
"If that's alright." John grinned.  
  
"Sure. I brought paint. I was planning to do it myself anyway." Big Ben motioned to a pile of paint cans. "I was placed in charge of guarding the van. I figured I'd give it a decent paint job while I was here."  
  
Well, Big Ben has returned! What is Cobra up to? What madness will happen next? Will the Misfits, Joes, and Austin be able to protect the RAV? Will Dr. Evil get a clue? Will Cobra Commander ever stop listening to pop bands? Find out in the next exciting chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	6. Can't We Bad Guys All Just Get Along?

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, the Misfits repainted the van. Oh, the meeting between Dr. Evil's gang and Cobra will be interesting. I don't think Britain will be the same after Ace and the East Coast Misfits get done with it. WHERE'S CHAPTER THREE?!?!?!?!? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE PUT IT UP!!!!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING SOOOOOOO LOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PUT IT UP!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: I got that very same feeling. But then again, who wouldn't get that feeling when any bad guy tries to take on the Misfits?  
  
To Red Witch: Hey there! I'm glad you liked the story so far! Here's some more madness for you, freshly written! Enjoy! BTW, Loved IHNP!!! Kyle found the Chakrams and he's slappin' them all over God's green earth. What colors will the van be painted? Let's find out! Are you going to be doing a second Misfit team like I did? Any info on what's next?  
  
To Raliena: Yeah, lime green is not a very good color for any vehicle. Well, let's find out what colors the van will be painted!  
  
To Aaron: I'm glad you liked Big Ben's reunion with the Joes and the meeting with the Misfits. For some warped, weird reason, I can imagine Wanda and Scott making bets over a slap-fight between their fathers. I don't think Dr. Evil's forces will stand up very well against the Misfits. Oh, Jake will get another chance to get his hands on Emma Frost again soon. Very soon.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Interesting ideas you have there. I'm glad you liked my profile of Leathersuit. You can probably guess why his real first name is Steve.  
  
Anyway, here's one more Profile Time for you! This time, we look at the Malibu Joe codenamed Firestorm, a character given to me by Aaron:  
  
Code Name: Firestorm  
  
File Name: Burns, Charles  
  
Rank: Sergeant  
  
Hair: Red (In the beginnings of a mullet)  
  
Eyes: Green  
  
Affliation: Marines  
  
Primary Military Specialty: Explosives Ordinance Disposal (EOD)  
  
Secondary Military Specialty: Demolitions  
  
Birthplace: St. Helens, Montana  
  
Motto: "KABOOOOOMMMMM!!!! BLOWED UP REAL GOOD!!! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Bio: Ever since he was a child, Firestorm has always had a fascination with explosions, flames, and going fast. When he gained a driver's license, he racked up a world's record for speed violations (He believes speed limits are Satan's work). He took a job at a fireworks factory, but he wanted to make HUGE explosions. In the military, he discovered his calling. He found he felt cleansed whenever he watched something explode. He became an expert on anything that ticked and went BOOM! In a jungle operation, he took in a Macaque monkey that he named Blast Radius, or BR for short. A very intelligent monkey, BR and Firestorm are inseparable, and they often work together to defuse bombs (On more than one occasion, Firestorm has been known to take the bombs home and detonate them near anything belonging to Malibu Joe 3rd-in-command Hardcase). He also enjoys setting the occasional fire.  
  
Chapter 6: Can't We Bad Guys All Just Get Along?  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(The RAV Warehouse)  
  
"Well, that was nice." Austin grinned, putting a paintbrush in a bucket of water. The gang had just repainted the Rolls-Royce Assault Van. It was now in some very odd psychedelic combination of military camouflage and flower- power designs.  
  
"You do realize that somebody's gonna get really mad at us." Lila noted. Everyone looked at each other.  
  
"Nah!!" They all said together.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Dr. Evil's Lair)  
  
"MUAHA!!!!MUAHAHA!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!" Dr. Evil and his cronies did their evil laugh, except for Mini-Me, who was unable to talk, and Scott.  
  
"WHAT IS THIS!?!?!?!?" Cobra Commander's image appeared on the screen, none too happy. "My Vipers captured two of your guards. You were after my van!" Cobra Commander snapped. Dr. Evil looked completely puzzled.  
  
"That's Cobra Commander, moron! The other big terrorist leader in town!" Scott snapped at his confused father.  
  
"I plan to ransom that van for........." He put his pinky to his lip. "ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!!" Cobra Commander and the rest of his lieutenants burst out laughing.  
  
"Oh please! We make a thousand times that..." Xamot laughed.  
  
"Getting drunk!" Tomax chuckled.  
  
"I can't believe it." Destro smirked triumphantly. "Another evil organization with a leader as dumb and incompetent as the commander. PAY UP DR. BRAINWAVE!!!!"  
  
"THAT'S DR. MINDBENDER!!!" Dr. Mindbender snapped.  
  
"That's the dumbest ransom I have ever seen!" Cobra Commander laughed.  
  
"Like you could do better?" Dr. Evil snickered.  
  
"I think I could!" Cobra Commander laughed.  
  
"Don't go there, girlfriend! Mmm-hmm." Dr. Evil replied, making Scott snicker.  
  
"Stop trying to be hip, micro-mind." Scott snickered. Fat Bastard grinned at the Baroness.  
  
"Ah know you find meh sexy." He started swaying, making the Baroness wretch.  
  
"Disgusting pig." She snarled.  
  
"Oh Ah know you want mah sexy body." Fat Bastard grinned at the Baroness. Dr. Evil shook his head.  
  
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight."  
  
"Someone shut him up!" Baroness yelled, pointing at the large Scotsman.  
  
"You got a bunch of incompetents for generals! Not to mention you wear a completely dumb outfit!" Cobra Commander laughed.  
  
"At least I don't look like a blueberry!" Dr. Evil snapped.  
  
"What's with him?!" Scott pointed at Destro. "I've heard of Metalheads, but that's a bit much."  
  
"And we all know that filly wants mah sexy body!" Fat Bastard crowed, pointing at the Baroness.  
  
"YOU ARE A DISGUSTING BALL OF LARD!!!!" The Baroness screeched.  
  
"MY EARS!!!" The Crimson Guard Twins screamed.  
  
"You all look like a freakshow!" Dr. Evil snapped.  
  
"You and your bunch are all morons!" Cobra Commander snapped back. It quickly degenerated into an argument between the evil groups. However, Destro and #2 were watching.  
  
"Since you appear to be the only remotely sane person here, what are you up to?" Destro asked #2.  
  
"Well, we heard the Rolls-Royce Assault Van has some advanced technology in it." #2 shrugged. "I guess we had the same idea: Get the van for its technology." Destro shrugged.  
  
"Indeed." Destro agreed. "It will be interesting to see what kind of weapons systems the vehicle has, considering that I myself am a bit of an expert on weapons systems."  
  
"Really?" #2 raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes, my family's worked in weapons since the 18th Century." Destro nodded. "My family's company evolved from a naval gun factory to the world's largest manufacturer of state-of-the-art weapons."  
  
"Why did you join up with these morons then?" #2 wondered, pointing at the other Cobras.  
  
"They pay lots of cold, hard cash for my stuff." Destro replied coolly. "My best customers." #2 mouthed an "Ah."  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!! YOU FAT PIG!!!! PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!!!" The Baroness screamed. Destro and #2 retched.  
  
"Where did you find that fat blob?" Destro sneered.  
  
"I didn't. The Doctor did." #2 grumbled. "Don't ask me. He doesn't tell me anything." Meanwhile, Zartan was watching the whole thing from Cobra's end.  
  
"And they say the Dreadnoks are fools." He mocked in a high pitched voice, crossing his arms. He heard a scream, and saw Virus run by, mallet over his head.  
  
"DIE TOAD DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE TOAD DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!" He screamed. Evidently, he was delusional. Zartan yelled into the hall.  
  
"Ripper, I thought you took him to see the shrink!" He listened for a second to Ripper's response. "Oh, he convinced the shrink the Toad is evil." Zartan groaned. "Well, take him out back and shoot him or something! Sheesh!"  
  
Well, Cobra and the Evil Organization are having communication problems! What madness will happen next? What'll the heroes do with the van now? Will they be able to protect it? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	7. Van Theft!

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: Oops! Sorry! I guess I got you guys mixed up. Fat Bastard a mutant with the power to make people retch, huh? Perhaps he may be. Yeah, maybe Virus would get himself beaten up a bit first. I think hits to the head may make him even more psycho than he already is. BTW, read the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home". I liked it. Hey, what do you have planned next in your story? Hope you like this new chapter!  
  
To Raliena: Wow. You know a girl like Virus. That's...scary. Very, very very scary. Hope you like this new chapter I whipped up for you!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Yeah, I thought it'd be funny to see Fat Bastard come on to the Baroness. Crikey! You mean you couldn't figure out why I gave Leathersuit the real name of Steve?! Actually, I have never heard of that show the Young Ones. I do find it funny a character is a guy named Vivian. I do remember that scene from "The Spy Who Shagged Me". Will the Misfits run into Grace Bros. and Hyacinth? Well, we'll see. Who knows? I tend to make up my stories as I go along, so I never know what I'll do next. Hope you like this new chapter, fresh from the laptop!  
  
To Red Witch: Well, knowing Cobra Commander and Dr. Evil, you can bet there will be more screaming matches. I read "A Pair of Angels". Nice work. I still think you should organize a second team of Misfits like I did. And I still did beat you to Evo-tizing Sunfire! No one ever thought of Evo-tizing him! Anyway, enjoy this new chapter I whipped up! Do you suppose I could use Lina in a future story?  
  
To Wizard1: Oh, Cobra Commander and Dr. Evil will meet face-to-face, and it will not be pretty. Flower-power camouflage. Yeah, well keep in mind that the van was being painted by a bunch of military-trained loons, their mutant charges, and an English secret agent who was a Sixties throwback!  
  
It's Profile Time again! This time, let's look at the mutant who helped bring together the West Coast Misfits, the wild child of rock 'n' roll, the wondrous Wildstar!  
  
Wildstar  
  
Real Name: Ace Starr  
  
Allegiance: Misfits (West Coast team)  
  
Hair: Brown with black tips (Due to his lion-based mutation, his hair is like a lion's mane)  
  
Class: Mutant  
  
Powers: Ace's mutation called upon the King of Beasts, the lion. As a result, Ace has fangs, claws, and a sleek cat-like body. He has enhanced senses, reflexes, agility, strength and speed. He can also fire blue energy beams from his claws, and he has a healing factor as good as Wolverine or X23's. He also can survive high falls because of a cat-like instinct for landing on his feet and hands.  
  
Birthplace: Los Angeles, California  
  
Bio: Ace was born to a stockbroker/ex-rock roadie and an ex-groupie. Ace was delivered in the back of a KISS tour bus! He grew up in a world of rock 'n' roll. As a kid, he found mutant-tolerant friends and formed a band known as the Ballroom Blitzers, a band that played originals and covered 70s and 80s rock classics. As a teenager, Nick Fury recruited Ace to go undercover as one of Emma Frost's Hellions and spy on the rogue teen mutants. Ace helped Jake Wildfire, the former Hellion, now-"Misfit" codenamed Red Dragon from a sinister personality created as a side effect of his powers known a Draconis. Afterwards, Ace and his family took in X23 and gave her the name Athena. Afterwards, Ace traveled the world for a while, meeting and befriending future West Coast Misfits Sunfire, Dazzler, and Thunderbird. When the Bio-droid called Mimic attacked the X-Men under Virus's control, Ace gathered up these allies and a Compton native known as Velocity. Alongside a visiting Siryn, Wolfsbane, and X23, Ace and his allies defeated the Mimic. The nine mutants decided to form a new team and they became the West Coast Misfits.  
  
Note: Ace Starr is the cousin of East Coast Misfit members Paul and Craig Starr, aka Starchild and Darkstar. He is also a skilled guitarist, saxophonist, and singer. His charms are as powerful as his cousin Paul's, netting the hearts of the Hellions M, Catseye, Roulette, and Tarot, as well as the X-Man Husk.  
  
Chapter 7: Van Theft!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(The warehouse)  
  
The Joes and the kids sat with the van. Ace and Craig had leaned against it. Most of the kids were halfway asleep. So were the Joes.  
  
"Hey Craig, I got an idea." Ace grinned, nudging his cousin. Craig only mumbled. He was on the verge of falling asleep. "Let's take the van."  
  
"Where are we gonna take the van?" Craig grumbled.  
  
"To drive around. Test it out." Ace grinned.  
  
"No way." Craig groaned.  
  
"C'mon. Please?" Ace begged.  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"I'll drive." Ace offered.  
  
"Okay." Craig shrugged.  
  
"Hey guys, c'mon! We're gonna test drive the van!" Ace grinned, waking up the other Misfits. The Joes had already left to get coffee.  
  
"Coffee. Sweet Coffee." Shipwreck grinned as he walked in.  
  
"Yeah, this assignment's easy." Low Light smiled.  
  
"Just sit around and watch a van." Cover Girl agreed.  
  
"Nothing better." Big Ben laughed.  
  
"I love Starbucks." Austin grinned.  
  
"WHAT THE--?" Bulldog yelled. The five Joes' and secret agent's eyes widened and their jaws dropped as they saw the van pull away.  
  
"THE KIDS!!!!" The Joes exclaimed.  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" The Misfits hooted from the van. The Cheap Trick song "Surrender" played from the van's stereo. The kids all sang along. "Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright/They just seem a little weird/Surrender, Surrender..." The van passed by the London offices of Extensive Enterprises. The kids, during the repainting, didn't cover the military logos. The Joes raced by, screaming at the kids to stop the van. The doorman, an undercover Crimson Guardsman, watched. He held a walkie- talkie to his lips.  
  
"Crimson Siege Blue calling Tomax and Xamot." He whispered.  
  
"Come in." The twins' voices responded.  
  
"The van just passed by."  
  
"Stand by for further instructions." The twins ordered. A man in black with a black hard hat stood at a corner. He talked into a watch.  
  
"Dr. Evil, I found the van."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Dr. Evil's helicopter, flying over London.)  
  
"Excellent!" Dr. Evil turned off his remote monitor. He and his evil crew were in a black carrier helicopter, bearing the silver "E" logo on the sides.  
  
"We're gonna eat those Misfits!" Fat Bastard crowed.  
  
"You're the cannibal, you big goofball." #2 grumbled.  
  
"Ah hope Ah meet that dark-haired filly again. She went wild over mah sexy body." Fat Bastard laughed. He started singing. "Oh, Ah'm the sexy man..."  
  
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight." Dr. Evil sighed.  
  
"Hey Dr. Evil, do Ah get to eat the babies?" Fat Bastard asked. "Och, Ah could eat a big baby right now." He grinned maliciously at Mini-Me.  
  
"Go Fat Bastard." Scott muttered under his breath.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mini-Me ran away.  
  
"Come back here!" Fat Bastard chased the clone, but his steps kept shaking the copter.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Cobra HQ, hidden in a field outside London)  
  
"Tomax and Xamot have told us of the van, Commander. The Joes are following and it's in a bizarre paint job." Destro said.  
  
"I cannot believe I was hit on by an obese Scotsman." The Baroness grumbled. "No wonder he's called Fat Bastard. HE IS ONE!!!"  
  
"No kidding. He visited our offices once..." Tomax and Xamot walked up to the Commander, Baroness, and Destro.  
  
"And he kept blabbering about eating babies." Xamot grumbled.  
  
"Not to mention he kept on..." Tomax started.  
  
"Scaring our secretaries because of his yelling about how sexy he claimed to be!" Xamot growled.  
  
"We nearly punched him out!" Tomax and Xamot threw their fists, accidentally punching each other. "OW!!"  
  
Well, things are going crazy now! What madness will happen next? Who'll get the van? Where will the Misfits take it? What'll the Joes do? What'll happen if Cobra Commander and Dr. Evil meet up again? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	8. Of Reunions and Brawls!

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Wizard1: Yup, the kids took the van! I have a funny feeling they'll be spending plenty of time with the Blind Master. Hope you enjoy this new madness I got up and running for ya! BTW, WHERE'S CHAPTER THREE?!?!? PUT IT UP! PUT IT UP!!! PLEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!! PUT IT UP PLEASE!!!! WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG!?!?!? PLEASE PUT IT UP!  
  
To Raliena: A girl as much of a control freak as Cobra Commander? You're right! That is scary! Very scary! Even scarier than the Virus girl! Sheesh! Anyway, enjoy this new chapter of mine fresh from the laptop!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Yup, the Misfits stole the van! They might lay out some Kelly torture! You never know! Yeah, the Crimson Guard Twins should consider themselves that they never have seen Fat Bastard with his shirt off. They'd rip their eyes out! I do want to use the characters from those shows, but I have no clue how to bring them in! The Misfits running into the Mole. That would be interesting. Anyway, enjoy this new chapter!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: I liked your joyriding idea. Yeah, Austin would be more hurt than mad at the kids. I'm not surprised. Enjoy the new chapter!  
  
To Aaron: Fat Bastard's one of my favorite character. I think Fat Bastard my think Fred's a fat dork. Ace never did live a normal life (Ace: Not to mention I ruled the school as a kid) Enjoy the new chapter!  
  
To Red Witch: Street racing, huh? Well, I'll see what I can do. Read the new chapters of ATOTA. Love it! Thanks for Lina! Here's some more insanity for you! Enjoy!  
  
It's Profile-Time Again! This time, we look at a Malibu Joe Aaron provided for me, the wonderful Wipe-Out!  
  
Wipe-Out  
  
File Name: McCormick, John  
  
Rank: Staff Sergeant  
  
Affiliation: Navy  
  
Primary Military Specialty: Navy SEAL  
  
Secondary Military Specialty: Intelligence, Surfing Instructor.  
  
Birthplace: Malibu, California.  
  
Motto: "Dude, I totally can take any Cobra down in the water, man! Awesome!"  
  
Bio: The laid-back, fun-loving John McCormick grew up on the waves. His father was a champion surfer in the 60s and 70s, and his mother was a bikini model who made Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Issue three times. Growing up, Wipe-Out was obsessed with surfing, and he was a natural swimmer. He did take lifeguard courses in high school. Seeking purpose in life, Wipe-Out enlisted in the United States Navy, serving in England, California, and Australia. When he met a Navy SEAL in Sydney, Wipe-Out was inspired to try out for the SEALs. His instructors could not believe someone so relaxed and sunshine-minded could make the cut and take the job seriously! After getting his certification, Generals Hawk and Whithalf selected him as part of a team of Joes to man the new West Coast Joe HQ in Malibu, aka Malibu Base.  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 8: Of Reunions and Brawls!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Dr. Evil's Helicopter)  
  
"There it is!" Dr. Evil pointed at the van driving through the streets of London. He grabbed a walkie talkie. "GET THEM!!!! I WANT THE VAN!!!"  
  
"Right, Dr. Evil! We have GI Joe and the mutants in our sights." A flunky in black responded. "Let's roll!" A black jeep, emblazoned with the silver "E" logo, drove into the streets, in pursuit of the van and Joe jeep.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Cobra Commander's helicopter)  
  
"There's the van!" Cobra Commander pointed at the van. "VIPERS!!!! I WANT THAT VAN!!!!"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(The streets of London)  
  
"WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" The Misfits laughed happily as they drove through the streets of London, completely oblivious to the yelling Joes behind them.  
  
"I am hurt." Austin Powers pouted. "The kids didn't bring me."  
  
"Are you on drugs or something?" Shipwreck wondered.  
  
"No." Austin shook his head. "Bad experience with trying LSD back in the day got me off forever."  
  
"Hoo brother." Low Light grumbled.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!!!!! MY FOOT!!!!! YOU F&%#$@! GI JOES!!!!" Senator Kelly roared as the Joes accidentally and unknowingly ran over his foot.  
  
"Hey!" Lila recognized someone at a shop. "Stop the van!" Ace quickly stopped.  
  
"OH NO!!!" Cover Girl screamed. She hit the back of the van. The van was undamaged, but the jeep was totaled, and the Joes and Austin were sent flying into a pile of garbage cans.  
  
"Ooohh..." Bulldog fainted.  
  
"GUIDO!!!!!" Lila squealed as she broke into a run. She was running towards Guido, who was clad in an Army private's uniform. The large Brooklyn mutant smiled.  
  
"Hey girl!" The big man opened his arms. Lila ran into his arms, and the two old friends hugged. "How's it going?"  
  
"Hey Guido! Long time no see!" Lance laughed. The Misfits gathered around the big man.  
  
"Hey guys! What've you been up to?" Guido asked. The kids told them of their adventures since he was last around. "Well, you guys have had fun."  
  
"How have you been doing, mate?" John asked.  
  
"Well, I've had a couple misadventures since Boot Camp. I graduated early." Guido grinned. "With honors."  
  
"Knowing you Guido, some interesting disasters happened while you were in basic training." Lila chuckled.  
  
"Talk!" Pietro demanded. Wanda smacked him. "Ow!"  
  
"Shut up, Pietro!" Wanda snapped. Suddenly, the gang came under laser fire. "What the-?"  
  
"COOOOOOOOBRAAAAA!!!!!" A whole mess of Cobra Vipers raced to the kids, firing machine guns. Some of the bullets bounced off the van's bullet-proof skin and windows.  
  
"WHOA!!!!" The Misfits screamed.  
  
"C'mon, Fred! Bullets can't harm us." Guido ordered.  
  
"Huh?" Fred wondered.  
  
"My powers allow me to absorb kinetic energy. I can absorb bullets that come toward me, causing them to drop like rocks before they break my skin." Guido laughed.  
  
"Oh." Fred nodded. "Let's go." The two large mutants charged the Vipers.  
  
"OOOOOOH SHOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!" The Vipers screamed as they got tossed around left and right.  
  
"LOOK!!!" Wanda pointed out. A whole batch of Dr. Evil's men raced in, firing their guns.  
  
"They're after the van! Protect it at all costs!" Althea ordered loudly. The other Misfits used their powers and physical skills to attack Dr. Evil's men.  
  
"Alright, kiddies!" Cobra Commander grinned, walking in, carrying a huge laser cannon over his shoulder. "This van is the property of Cobra!" His lieutenants flanked him.  
  
"Think again, Mr. I'm-frickin'-big-bad-Cobra!" Dr. Evil walked up, his lieutenants behind him.  
  
"Hey filly!" Fat Bastard waved at the Baroness, making her face turn green. "Do you still find meh sexy?"  
  
"I need to puke." The Baroness moaned.  
  
"Oh, this should be good." Ace grinned. "I'll get some popcorn!"  
  
"Back off, you bald buffoon!" Cobra Commander yelled. "This van is Cobra's!"  
  
"No, it's my van!" Dr. Evil snapped. "I plan to ransom it for...100...BILLION...DOLLARS!!!"  
  
"We make more than that on a tequila bender!" Tomax and Xamot laughed.  
  
"Oh shut up!" Cobra Commander snapped at the twins. He turned back to Dr. Evil. "We'll use the van to conquer the world!"  
  
"Oh, that's original." Dr. Evil rolled his eyes.  
  
"And your plan is sooo unique." Cobra Commander remarked sarcastically.  
  
"Hey, I'm a frickin' sucker for the frickin' classics, okay?!" Dr. Evil snapped.  
  
"You and your bunch are morons!" Cobra Commander snapped.  
  
"You and your lieutenants belong in a circus!" Dr. Evil yelled.  
  
"LAME-O!"  
  
"MORON!"  
  
"DORK!!"  
  
"NERD!!"  
  
"FREAK!!"  
  
"SCREW-UP!!"  
  
"THAT'S IT!! KILL HIM!!!" They both roared. The Cobras and Evil Squad charged and started brawling. Destro and #2 watched.  
  
"Wanna go get a drink? I know a nice pub near here." Destro offered. #2 shrugged.  
  
"Fine. I need a brewski." #2 shrugged. The two walked away.  
  
"I got popcorn!" Ace happily leapt to the others, handing out the popcorn.  
  
"Thank you." They all said.  
  
"Cor Blimey, what's bloody going on?" Austin asked in confusion. He and the Joes walked up to the kids, covered in garbage. Ace gave them popcorn.  
  
"Enjoy the show." Ace said.  
  
Well, that was weird! What madness will happen next? Who'll win the fight? Who'll get the van? What'll happen to the kids? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	9. Crossover Mania!

Battle in Britain!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Wow. That's a great suggestion! Thanks a whole lot! I really appreciate it! This is fantastic! Thanks a lot! Hmm...  
  
To Raliena: I'm glad you liked the brawl between Dr. Evil and Cobra!! Man, a girl obsessed with pink. Scary! Very Scary!  
  
To Red Witch: I read the new chapters of ATOTA!!! Cool that Freddy got a gal! He needed a break in the romance department! BTW, How come you never had Pyro join the Misfits? If the Misfits are your version of Freedom Force, then shouldn't Pyro be in the mix? That's why I made Pyro a Misfit. And because he's cool!  
  
To Aaron: Yeah, that was cool! I burst out laughing as I wrote it! Glad you liked the profile of Wipe-Out! I hoped you'd like his bio. What guy wouldn't want a mother who was in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Illustrated?  
  
To Wizard1: Kelly never has a good day, does he? I thought I'd bring Guido back for a good laugh! I think we needed to check up on the guy.  
  
Author's Note: Hey, My story "Space Bikers Ahoy" has seven reviews, but I only can get four! When I log on to check out my backup, I still only get four! I also have gotten no e-mails about the three missing reviews. Can anyone tell me what's going on?  
  
Chapter 9: Crossover Mania!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Streets of London)  
  
The Misfits, the Joes, Austin Powers, and Pvt. Guido Carosella were watching the brawl between the forces of Cobra Commander and Dr. Evil. The Commander and Evil were slapping each other silly. The Baroness was grappling with Frau Farbissina. The Crimson Twins were able to dispatch Scott Evil, but they couldn't handle Mini-Me and Fat Bastard.  
  
"AAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!" Tomax screamed. He hopped around, with Mini-Me grabbing his leg with his teeth.  
  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!" Xamot ended up getting knocked all over from Fat Bastard. The kids and adults laughed as they saw the action.  
  
"Oh, that has to hurt." Xi noted a Viper getting wrapped around a telephone pole.  
  
"Eeeeeeesh." John winced as an Evil Flunky was smashed into a phone booth.  
  
"OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!"  
  
"YOU BLUE-HELMETED %$&#$@!!!!"  
  
"YOU BALD $#&@^#!!!!!!"  
  
"GET HIM OFF MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Xamot screamed. "HE'S NOT WEARING ANYTHING UNDER THIS KILT!!!!"  
  
"Ah'm too sexy to be beaten!" Fat Bastard crowed.  
  
"More like too fat." John snickered. He looked at Fred. "Hey mate, relative of yours?"  
  
"Nah, he's too stupid to be of Dukes blood." Fred shook his head.  
  
"Coming from you, that's something." Pietro laughed. Fred calmly took the nearest bench and broke it on Pietro's head. "OW!!!!"  
  
"C'mon!" Althea waved her hand. "Let's go!" The kids boarded the van and drove away. The adults didn't notice. Fred was driving. And contrary to Pietro's belief, Freddy knew which lane to drive on in Great Britain.  
  
"Let's go shopping!" Al suggested. The boys groaned.  
  
"That's boring! Let's find some punkers and challenge 'em to a fight!" Craig suggested.  
  
"Let's see if there are any good rock clubs!" Paul said.  
  
"Let's set some fires!" John cackled, playing with his lighter.  
  
"I'd love to see about any good cooking schools in London." Blob suggested.  
  
"I say we check out the Thames!" Todd laughed.  
  
"I think we should check out the museums." Jake thought.  
  
"I heard the legal drinking age is eighteen here in Great Britain. I need to get plastered." Lance moaned. Althea grabbed John and placed a dagger to his neck.  
  
"Help!" John screamed.  
  
"Take us shopping, or Pyro gets it!" Althea yelled. The other Misfits blinked.  
  
"DO AS SHE SAYS!! DO AS SHE SAYS!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO AS SHE BLOODY SAYS, YOU BLOODY FOOLS!!!!" John screamed.  
  
"Okay! Okay! Just don't hurt the crazy Aussie!" Blob turned the van in panic. He quickly turned down a lane. "Oh please let that be a store!" Pietro read the name.  
  
"Grace Brothers. Huh." Pietro noted.  
  
"Ooh! Betsy said that store's nice, even though the attendants are a bit loony! C'mon!" She dropped John, letting the scared pyromaniac clutch his throat gratefully.  
  
"I swear to God, I will never ever ever ever EVER set fire to dynamite again! Thank you!" John prayed, then raced in after his team-mates. "Wait for me!"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(The Clothing Dept.)  
  
"Well, it has been a slow day hasn't it?" The war veteran Captain Peacock said to the bald floor manager named Mr. Rumbold.  
  
"Yes, it has." Mr. Rumbold smiled.  
  
"Well, Mr. Lucas, I suggest we close shop for today." The blond Mr. Humphries said to his semi-long dark-haired junior assistant.  
  
"Yeah, might as well." Mr. Lucas sighed. "We haven't had a customer all day!"  
  
"You might actually get customers if you kept that big mouth shut once in a while." The blond junior women's attendant named Ms. Braham replied.  
  
"I really must go home." The elder assistant sighed. She was known as Mrs. Slocombe, infamous for her ever-changing hair color. This time, it was pink. "My poor cat must miss me." DING! "Oh! Customers!" The Misfits emerged from the elevator.  
  
"Swanky." Paul looked around. "Real swanky."  
  
"Now where can I start a fire?" John looked around.  
  
"So this is a clothing store. Sounds like a place for rich folks." Xi chuckled. Jake smirked evilly.  
  
"Last time I ambushed Frost, I got a chance to swipe her credit card." He held up a black credit card. "American Express Black Card. A very elite card."  
  
"Jake, you learn fast." Lila laughed.  
  
"Uhm, may we help you?" Mr. Humphries asked the Misfits.  
  
"Oh God, teenagers. Nothing but trouble." Captain Peacock grumbled. Mrs. Slocombe nodded in agreement.  
  
"Hey, haven't I seen you kids on TV?" Mr. Lucas pointed at the teens.  
  
"I could say the same for you, mate." John replied.  
  
"Wait a minute..." Mr. Humpries burst out laughing. "I know you kids!"  
  
"Are they celebrities?" Mr. Rumbold asked. "It's a real honor you decided to shop here."  
  
"Althea, Todd, Fred, Lance, Pietro, Wanda, Lila, Xi, Jake, Paul, Craig, Ace and John. The Misfits! My cousin Donald's told me about you!" Mr. Humphries laughed. "How nice to meet you all!" Mr. Rumbold stammered.  
  
"They're m-m-m-m-m-" Mr. Rumbold stammered.  
  
"Donald?" Paul wondered.  
  
"A regular rival of Cousin Jesse." Al said.  
  
"Yeah, Donald is Jesse's girlfriend's ex-husband's boyfriend." Todd added.  
  
"Holy Jerry Springer!" Paul exclaimed.  
  
"You can say that again." Craig groaned.  
  
"We're here to pick up some clothes." Xi said. Ace looked around a rack near a changing room until an arm grabbed him. Ace recognized the scent.  
  
"Hi Ace. Catseye missed you." A purring Sharon Smith pulled Ace in the dressing room, making him squeak. Nobody noticed.  
  
"There they are!" The Joes, Guido, and Austin ran to the kids. "Where have you been?"  
  
"You kids are going to be doing KP for a year for this." Cover Girl tapped her foot.  
  
"I can't believe you didn't take me with you!" Austin whined.  
  
"Oh stop, Powers!" Shipwreck snapped.  
  
"M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-..." Mr. Rumbold stammered.  
  
"Where's Ace?" Bulldog wondered.  
  
Well, that's a wild time for you! What madness is going to happen next? Who won the brawl? Who are these people? Where are those three reviews on "Space Bikers Ahoy"? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly. 


	10. Welcome Home, Misfits!

Battle in Britain!  
  
To my readers: Sorry! Due to the glitch in FF.net, I can't respond to any reviews this chapter. However, I still have a nice Profile Time for you anyway! So, enjoy!  
  
I did something stupid. Because of FF.net acting up, I lost the seven chapters of "Space Bikers Ahoy!" I resubmitted the first chapter because I thought the problem was me. I want those reviews baaaaaaaaaack!  
  
It's Profile Time once again! This time, we look at another Malibu Joe! This time, we look at everyone's favorite Tackleberry look-a-like and resident weapons expert, the king of Colts, the Shah of shotguns, the Master of Magnums, the Sultan of Smith and Wessons, GUNBARRELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Gunbarrel  
  
Allegiance: GI Joe (Malibu Joes)  
  
File Name: Hunter, Jack  
  
Rank: Sergeant  
  
Affiliation: Army  
  
Hair: Brown (Short and Curly)  
  
Eyes: Blue  
  
Primary Military Specialty: Infantry  
  
Secondary Military Specialty: Weapons Ordinance, Electronic Weapons  
  
Birthplace: Boise, Idaho  
  
Bio: As a child, Jack Hunter spent a lot of time on his uncle and aunt's farm outside of Boise. His uncle was an avid gun collector, and he has some very rare weapons in his collection. He would regale Gunbarrel for hours of tales of how he got his weapons and tales of warfare. As a result, Gunbarrel grew to love guns, and he enjoyed hunting (He wouldn't kill any of his targets, though. He just fired blanks at them) He discovered he had an almost uncanny talent for being a marksman. At 18, he joined the Army to help finish college (He studied for a degree in electronics). His incredible aim got him nominated to go to Sniper School, but he lacked the patience. Instead, he graduated at the top of his class in Advanced Infantry Training. Soon after, he met the GI Joe known as Rock 'n' Roll, and Rock 'n' Roll suggested that he be put on the GI Joe team. Alongside Rock 'n' Roll, Gunbarrel got sent to Malibu Base. There, he's often found refining his aim, building a new gun, or just plain polishing.  
  
Note: Despite his fondness for weaponry, Gunbarrel is a huge animal lover. (Unlike Kitty, he accepts the fact that some people enjoy leather jackets) He is a vegetarian, and underneath his obsession with weapons, he has a gentle soul.  
  
Chapter 10: Welcome Home, Misfits!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Outside Grace Bros.)  
  
"What a bunch of weirdoes." Cover Girl groaned. "That Lucas guy was a pervert! I had to slap him three ways to Sunday."  
  
"Hey!" Big Ben ran up to the Misfits, Austin, Guido, and the Joes. "Glad I found you!" He panted. "Hey listen! The cops got the Commander and Dr. Evil. So what do you guys want to do now?" As he talked, one could notice a bunch of Bobbies (English policemen) carry away a screaming and cursing Dr. Evil and Cobra Commander, while trying to stop them from catfighting.  
  
"HEY! THAT SCOTTISH FAT GUY'S NAKED AND HE'S CHASING THAT DARK-HAIRED WOMAN!!!!" Someone yelled.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Baroness screamed. "GET THIS DISGUSTING PERVERT AWAY FROM ME!!!!" The gang burst out laughing.  
  
"Eww." Austin retched. "Poor woman, being chased by a naked Fat Bastard."  
  
"No kidding." Paul wrinkled his nose.  
  
"The 400-plus pound Fat Bastard running around stark naked. Wrong. So Wrong. So, so wrong." Ace moaned. Wanda, Lila, and Althea's face turned green.  
  
"Excuse us." The three Misfit Girls moaned, running to the nearest bathroom.  
  
"C'mon, let's go..." Austin stopped when he saw an old woman in a blue dress, an insane blue hat, and red hair. "That's no woman! That's a MAN, baby!"  
  
"It IS?!" Todd and Xi said together.  
  
"How does he know?" Blob asked Ace.  
  
"Uncle Austin can tell, Freddy-boy." Ace chuckled. "He knows his stuff." Austin marched over to the woman, and punched her out. "GET THE MAN!!!" Ace yelled. The Misfits, the Joes, and Guido jumped on the screaming woman.  
  
"RICHARD!!!" The woman screamed. An old man with white hair on the sides of his head and a moustache, a woman in a pink dress with short blond hair, a man with short brown hair, and a younger man with black hair dressed like a priest ran out.  
  
"Richard, Emmett, Vicar! We must help Hyacinth!" The woman exclaimed. The bald man Richard, the vicar, and the brown-haired Emmett burst out laughing.  
  
"Are you kidding, Elizabeth?!" Emmett howled in laughter. "This is great!"  
  
"This is the best thing I've ever seen since I got married!" Richard laughed.  
  
"Thank God for mutants!" The Vicar laughed, recognizing the Misfits. "They are not abominations!"  
  
"We love the mutants!" Richard and Emmett howled.  
  
"Let's get smashed in celebration!" Richard grinned.  
  
"Let us get smashed!" Emmett agreed. The two walked to the bar. Senator Kelly watched the whole thing.  
  
"I hate mutants. And I HATE ENGLAND!!!" He screamed. A bunch of hooligans overheard him.  
  
"He's a Scottish lover!"  
  
"KILL HIM!!!" Kelly tried to run away, but a neon sign fell on his head, knocking him out cold, and leaving him at the mercy of the hooligans.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(The Pit, the next day)  
  
"Well, that was fun." Althea laughed. Todd was rubbing her shoulders. The Misfits were lounging in front of a pool Lance made with his powers.  
  
"Yeah, and it was nice meeting our Uncle Austin." Paul chuckled. "It would explain why the charms are genetic."  
  
"Ugh." Craig grumbled. He heard the phone ring. "I'll get it." Craig walked into Shipwreck's home and picked up the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Uhm, yes." The English-accented voice said on the other end. "Is this the Pit?"  
  
"Yes. Craig Starr speaking." Craig replied. "What's up?"  
  
"Uhm, yes. My name is Richard Bucket. My wife Hyacinth, the man Mr. Powers laid out?"  
  
"Oh, yeah." Craig remembered. "I remember. What's up, Mr. Bucket?"  
  
"Well, Hyacinth is coming home from the hospital next week." Richard replied. "When she does, would you Misfits be so kind and let me live with you for a month or two?" Craig blinked.  
  
"Um, excuse me?" Craig blinked.  
  
"My wife is going to be awfully cross." Richard explained.  
  
"Uhm...." Craig struggled to come up with words for this. "Uhm, let me get one of the adults on the line." He put the phone receiver on the table. "Cover Girl!" Craig left the room and went after Cover Girl. As he went by the pool, he felt his butt being pinched.  
  
"Wanda, knock it off!" He snapped at the laughing hexcaster.  
  
"A new adventure comes to an end." Paul chuckled.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Malibu Base)  
  
"Wow. Too bad the Thunderbolt couldn't be there." Kyle laughed. He and the other members of the West Coast Misfits were lounging around in Malibu Base's conference room.  
  
"Well, it was nice catching up with the guys." Ace laughed.  
  
"I still cannae believe ye have an uncle that's a secret agent." Rahne shook her head.  
  
"Yeah, I find it hard to believe myself!" Ace grinned.  
  
"What's it like in England?" Randy asked.  
  
"Rainy." Toshiro grumbled.  
  
"Oh relax, Toshi." Ali laughed. "England's got beautiful countryside."  
  
"Yeah." John agreed. "I've seen it on TV." Hardcase walked in.  
  
"Alright kids, we're holding a meeting here so get HEY!!!!" A rigged bucket of red paint fell from the door as Hardcase opened it, causing him to be doused with red paint. "JESTER!!!! YOU'RE DEAD!!!!" Hardcase ran away.  
  
"Should we tell him I rigged the bucket?" Terrell asked. The West Coast Misfits all looked at each other.  
  
"NAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"  
  
Oh man, the insanity never will cease! What'll happen next time? What more madness will occur? Who will our favorite Misfit teams face off against next? Find out in the next story! This is L1701E signing off! Thanks for reading, and here's hoping FF.net finally fixes that review glitch! 


End file.
